


Last Night

by Krashlyn



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 06:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1887825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krashlyn/pseuds/Krashlyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashlyn and Ali... have a "thing"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Hey, Press." Ashlyn nudged her in the lunch line.

"Ash-lynnn. What'd you end up doing yesterday?" She patted her on the back.

"Not much. Just relaxed for my day off. You?"

"Same. Kelley and I went to the pool for a while."

"Oh nice. Yea, Ali and I went downtown and got dinner and then out for some drinks with Syd and Mewie and them." She said.

"I meant to ask you- is Ali alright?"

Ashlyn paused and looked up. "What do you mean? I think so?"

"She's just been acting kind of weird today."

"Weird, how?" Ashlyn was confused.

"She moped around in the room all day. She was off during training. And now she's still up there just buried in her bed." Press explained. "I asked her what was wrong and she said 'nothing' but its obviously something."

"Yea." Ashlyn thought on it. "That's not like her."

"I thought maybe as her best friend... she woulda told you?"

"Nope, but I'll find out." Ashlyn put her plate down and grabbed an apple instead. "Can I have your room key?"

Press handed it to her and Ashlyn walked slowly up to the room.

...

She knocked first and heard nothing. So she swiped the card and let herself in.

She walked over to Ali's bed and found her curled in a ball, wrapped in blankets, clutching a pillow. She didn't even turn to see who it was. Ashlyn sighed to herself and moved to open the curtains.

That got Ali's attention. "Christennn!" She whined into the pillow. But when she felt the bed dip behind her, she knew it wasn't her roommate.

She slowly turned and saw Ashlyn sitting against her back. She narrowed her eyes and turned back to the pillow, fussing the whole way and turning away from Ashlyn with annoyance.

"I don't want to talk to you." She said angrily and Ashlyn nodded her head.

"I know." She admitted. "But you're still my best friend so..." She nudged Ali to the center of the bed and slipped under the covers with her. She pulled Ali's back to her and held her close.

"Leave me alone." Ali warned, also in the form of a whine.

"I'm not going anywhere if you're upset." Ashlyn mumbled as she pressed her forehead to Ali's back.

"I'm not upset." She grumped.

"Okay... let's go to lunch then." Ashlyn pulled down the covers and received an elbow to the stomach. Pretty hard. _Okay, Ali's actually really mad._ Ali pulled the covers back up and moved away from Ashlyn.

"I mean it, Ashlyn! Leave. Me. Alone." She closed herself off.

Ashlyn sat there for a second, debating whether or not she should listen. She decided not to. "No!" She said defiantly but confidently. Ali only pulled further away. "You can tell me to go a million times but I'm not leaving you like this." She moved closer but Ali only moved further away.

Ashlyn knew what was bothering Ali since Christen told her something was off- she just didn't know why it was bothering her. "Alex... I'm sorry."

Ali only slightly shook her head. Her face was buried in the pillow but Ashlyn knew she was fighting tears.

"I'm really, really sorry." Ashlyn pleaded. "Alex." She put her hand on Ali's shoulder and felt it shake as she sobbed into the pillow. "Alex." She slid up to Ali from behind and pulled her in. Wrapping her arm around Ali's body and holding her tight as she cried.

...

Eventually Ali calmed down.

Ashlyn felt her relax a little and kissed the top of her shoulder. She knew she shouldn't have done that because now she won't be able to stop. She then placed a lingering kiss where Ali's shoulder met her neck. And another at her pulse point. And her jaw. And her chin.

She felt Ali inhale slowly as she slightly turned toward Ashlyn. By the time Ashlyn made it to the corner of Ali's mouth she was completely hooked. She moved closer and Ali met her lips with her own. Softly, hesitantly, but familiarly.

They immediately fell into the kiss. Breathing each other in, lips moving perfectly in sync, tongues softly lashing against each other. Ali moved to lay flat while Ashlyn got on top of her. They never broke the kiss.

Ashlyn grabbed the back of Ali's neck and pulled her closer, letting her thumb brush against her cheek but not bothering to wipe the tears from it. Ali was reminded why she was upset. She suddenly realized what she was doing and pulled back abruptly to put a hand to Ashlyn's chest.

"I don't want to do this right now." She forced herself to say.

Ashlyn flopped back on the bed and sighed in frustration. "What is with you lately?" She asked, slightly annoyed.

Ali stood up slowly and looked at her, almost disgusted with the way she was acting. If only Ali knew Ashlyn was completely oblivious to what was going on.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Ali said sarcastically. "Forgive me if I'm not _ecstatic_ about doing this when you fucked another girl last night!" 

Ashlyn cringed at that but she still wasn't seeing the big picture and it just made her mad. "You told me to 'go for it' when I asked if it would bother you!" She yelled back.

"I was being sarcastic!" Ali threw her hands in the air in disbelief. 

"I didn't know it was against the rules." Ashlyn continued with a tone Ali wasn't particularly fond of. "You're the one who keeps stressing that you and I are 'just having fun' so what's the big deal?" Ashlyn was bitter about it. Being 'friends with benefits' was not what she expected.

Ali's heart dropped at that statement. 

"What's the big deal? Seriously? I'm in love with you! Don't you see that?!" Ali let it all out and immediately regretted it.

Ashlyn froze. Completely caught off guard. She stared at Ali in utter disbelief.

"Oh my god." Ali realized. "You don't..." She started to panic. She thought Ashlyn knew. The need to escape was so strong right now. _I just ruined everything. Why did I tell her?_ "I have to go." She grabbed her room key and quickly left.

...


	2. Chapter 2

Ali avoided her the next day and when she ran into her the following day- she was short and quickly made an excuse to leave.

Ashlyn was completely put off by it. She didn't know how to handle this. So she, in turn, avoided Ali the next day.

The following day, Ali was leaving her room when she heard Tobin and Ashlyn coming out of theirs two doors down.

 _Of course she's right there._ She quickly closed herself back in the room before anyone could notice. She looked through the peep-hole and saw Ashlyn turn toward the door when it clicked shut. But she exhaled when Ashlyn continued down the hall with Tobin.

When they were out of sight, Ali quietly pulled the door open and looked both ways before stepping into the hall. She walked slowly to the elevators, giving them enough time to get one. She listened around the corner and heard nothing so she knew it was clear.

She rounded the corner to wait for the next elevator and there she was. Ashlyn. Sitting on a bench. Legs crossed, arms crossed with an eyebrow raised. _Caught._

"Avoiding me?" She got right to the point but didn't seem mad about it. There was a grin on her face. Ali's guard fell right to the ground when she saw that smile.

"Thought you were the one avoiding me." Ali replied, very matter-of-fact.

"I guess we both were." Ashlyn pointed out what they both knew and pressed the elevator button to wait for it to come up.

And suddenly the awkwardness was the most awkward part of it all. Even more than the confession. Or hook-ups themselves.

Ashlyn looked at Ali and started to speak. "Do you want to talk-"

"Can we be best friends again?" Ali diverted the situation quickly.

Ashlyn was a little surprised and answered faster than should meant to. "Sure... I would like that." She nodded her head and wrapped an arm around Ali's shoulders.

"Okay, good." Ali said as they stepped into the elevator.

Ashlyn couldn't help but wonder what that confession meant. Was it real? Was it just a one-time jealousy thing? Ali had just shot her down when she tried to bring it up so she was too nervous to bring it up again.

...

Ali was cautious of their physical closeness- even cautious of what would be considered normal before the hooking-up started. She avoided every chance to be close but it only made both of them feel worse.

Closeness was a huge part of their friendship. Snuggling during movies. Taking naps together between training. Ali using Ashlyn as a pillow on bus rides and flights. They both missed it but both were too stubborn to be the one to initiate after that conversation.

Instead, Ashlyn leaned on Kelley and Alex and Whit to keep herself from crossing the line again.

Ali was never a big snuggler- except with Ashlyn. She actually hated snuggling. Except with her. That should have been a sign. She kept to herself.

...

They went on a walk the next night. Just the two of them- as usual. Ashlyn's idea. She wanted to talk to Ali about what she said. She finally had time to process. But she was having trouble finding a good time to bring it up.

They walked along the side roads and it was hard for Ashlyn to keep from nudging her or putting her arm around her. Hard to not gaze into her eyes when she spoke. Impossible to stop thinking what it would be like to kiss her again.

But she can't. They're friends. Best friends. They had just proven over the past month it can only ever be that.

They came back to the hotel and sat in the courtyard by a fountain.

Ashlyn was tired of restraining and finally let herself lean into Ali as they talked. She noticed Ali's sentence falter for a second when their bodies touched. She knew it was dangerous territory- but right now she didn't care. She needed this closeness with Ali.

 _But why?_ She asked herself.

Ali continued talking but her concentration was completely lost. She ended up rambling as she was more concerned with Ashlyn's closeness to her than she was with her own story. To have Ashlyn this close made her nervous- her heart was racing.

To Ashlyn, she was just being close. Like usual. It didn't need to mean anything.

...

"Can we talk about the other day?" Ashlyn asked when there was a lull in the conversation.

Ali tensed up immediately. She wanted to block it out forever.

"About what?" She asked innocently.

Ashlyn sat up straight and turned to her with a look that said "you know what".

"Can't we just forget what I said?" Ali looked down at her lap.

"Do you want me to forget what you said?" Ashlyn pushed.

"Yes." _No. I don't. I meant it._ Ali lied in hopes to save their friendship.

Ashlyn wasn't expecting that. She had a whole speech planned to explain things to Ali. This was not part of the plan. She didn't know how to react. It felt like... rejection.

"Oh... yea. We can forget it then." Ashlyn said quietly.

Ali swore she heard a pang of hurt in Ashlyn's voice. She wanted to go back in time and change her answer. She back-pedaled.

"Unless... do you _not_ want to forget it?" She was genuinely unsure.

But it was too late. Ashlyn already thought Ali didn't mean what she said the other night.

"No, we can." She said, biting back her inkling to not give in. "Strictly best friends?" She asked, genuinely unsure.

It cut right through Ali. She didn't want to take it back that far. But if that was what Ashlyn wanted- she had to do it. She refused to further ruin their relationship. She had come so close to doing that with her confession.

They hugged. It felt foreign. Like they were hugging strangers.

It wasn't fixed and they both knew it.

...

They tip-toed around each other the next night when the team went out for some drinks. They had the next morning off from training. Ashlyn kept her distance from Ali. She was afraid she'd cross the line- especially after a couple vodka drinks.

So she occupied herself with another girl in the bar. Talked her up a bit. Completely harmless as Ashlyn had no intention other than to talk to her. But it looked like more to anyone else looking on.

Like Ali. Who was pretending to listen to Kelley but was really stealing glances over her shoulder.

Ali wasn't the jealous type. But this was too much for her to handle. She wondered how Ashlyn could flirt with another girl right in front of her. Especially after the other night.

_I guess she really does want to forget I told her I'm in love with her._

She decided to go up to the bar. Get another drink. Chat up the group of guys sitting there and see where it took her. She wanted to make Ashlyn jealous.

It didn't even take a minute for one of the guys to strike up conversation with Ali. He bought her a drink, moved to the stool next to her, and engaged her in an in-depth conversation. Ali was actually enjoying it more than she had intended.

And Ashlyn noticed. _I guess she really does want to go back to just being friends._ She convinced herself and ordered another round for her and the new girl.

...

They all left in small groups at different times. Ashlyn didn't even ask for the girl's number. She wasn't interested for some reason. 

She assumed Ali left in an earlier group since none of the team was left. She figured she would let her do her own thing and would see her the next day. Catch up on the night like best friends do.

But when she got back to her room she couldn't shake the paranoid feeling. She had to know what Ali's confession meant. It was eating her up inside. She called her.

"Ash?" Ali wondered why she was calling so late. Unless something was wrong.

"Hey. Can we talk?" Ashlyn asked quickly. Ali could tell something was bothering her but she was too deep in the drink to be able to resist Ashlyn tonight. She couldn't.

"Uhhh..."

"Can you meet me downstairs in five?" Ashlyn nervously asked her.

"I'm umm..." Ali tried to think of an excuse but nothing was coming to her.

It suddenly hit Ashlyn- _Ali's not alone._ "You're... not back yet, are you...?" Ashlyn asked reluctantly, sadly. Already knowing the answer.

"No." Ali said regrettably.

"Never mind. Wasn't important. H-have a good night." Ashlyn said as she quickly hung up the phone. She felt her stomach churn and a pain in her heart. _Why do I feel like this?_ She never felt something like that before.

"Who was that- calling you at 2 am?" Christen questioned.

"Ash." Ali responded, a little surprised Christen would even ask.

"Oh, what'd she want?" She slightly mumbled. They all had one drink too many.

"To make sure I got home okay." Ali lied.

Christen just smiled knowingly. "She's really sweet with you." She said, her truthful words masked with alcohol. "Goodnight, Kriegs." She jumped into her bed and pulled the blankets up to her chin.

"Night." Ali said blankly as she stared at the ceiling. _Why did I just lie to Ashlyn?_ She laid in bed and contemplated calling her back for almost an hour until she drifted to sleep.

...


	3. Chapter 3

Ashlyn's hurt turned into resentment the next day. She ignored Ali's call.

After their afternoon session, she skipped out quickly after her shower and headed back to the hotel. Ali came to her room but she didn't answer the door.

But Ali was smart and called her phone again from outside the door. When she heard it ring on the otherside she knocked again.

"Ash, answer the door. Come on." She said reassuringly through it.

Ashlyn knew she had no choice but to open it.

She put on a smile and pulled the door open.

"Hey! Sorry, thought I heard someone knocking." She lied and Ali didn't buy it but she let it go anyway.

Ashlyn turned and walked into the room, Ali following behind her.

"Ash, about last night..."

 _No, no, no._ Ashlyn did not want to have this conversation. She did not want to hear about Ali's night with this guy. _Please no._

"Last night was fun." She cut Ali short.

"Yea, but I wanted to talk about when you called me... um..." _Just tell her you lied!_

But Ashlyn intercepted the conversation before Ali had a chance.

"Listen Ali. Its none of my business. We agreed to just be friends so there's nothing to talk about here." Ashlyn was irrationally thinking.

"Ashlyn, that's not what-"

"I just hope you had a _great time_ with whatever his name is." Ashlyn interrupted sarcastically and that was the last straw for Ali. She wasn't going to let anyone talk to her like that.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" Ali yelled.

Ashlyn was slightly surprised and then offended. She didn't like being yelled at. And her fragile state had obviously gone unnoticed.

"You!" She yelled back. "You're my fucking problem! Everything was fine until YOU decided it was a great idea kiss me!"

That stopped Ali's heart.

"You know what? I'm sorry I wasted my time!" Ali didn't mean that but it was already said and done. She could only think to do one thing now- leave.

Ashlyn stood there. Not knowing what to do as she watched Ali walk away from her. And when the door closed, she buried herself in the bed, pulling the blankets over her head and feeling sorry for herself for the rest of the day.

_What am I doing? Why does my heart hurt? What is this girl doing to me?!_

...

They all went out the next night. No practice the following day.

Ashlyn found Ali by the bar while everyone else was dancing or playing pool or ordering drinks.

"Hey." She interrupted her and Becky. "Can I steal her for a second?" She asked and Becky nodded in approval.

She pulled Ali to the side but Ali's only response was raised eyebrows.

"I'm sorry." Ashlyn blurted out. "I didn't mean what I said."

"Okay." Ali wasn't having any of it.

"Okay?" Ashlyn repeated in the form of a question. "That's it? Just 'okay'? Al..." She reached for Ali's hand but she pulled out of reach.

"What do you want me to say, Ash?" Ali was done playing games. "Oh, fantastic. You're _sorrrrry_. Let's go back to my room and fool aound." She said sarcastically.

It only angered Ashlyn. She narrowed her eyes and stared at Ali.

"What?" Ali challenged. "That's all it was to you, right? Fooling around."

"No!" Ashlyn caught on to her motive. "Why are you doing this?"

Ali threw her hands up in the air as her only response.

"You're shutting me out." Ashlyn pointed out.

"No! You shut me out when you told me **I** was your problem!" Ali stood her ground and stepped closer.

"I just said I was sor-"

"Ashlyn, I don't want to talk about this tonight. Another time- not right now. Let's have fun tonight, okay?" Ali said as she walked away from her.

Again Ashlyn felt that pain in her heart as Ali left her standing alone.

_Fuck this._

...

Ali was intent on ignoring Ashlyn all night. Tomorrow was another day and maybe they could talk about it then.

She spent most of her time with Syd and Alex while Ashlyn kept a distance with Pinoe and Whit. There was a cute girl over by the pool table and when she noticed Tobin and Kelley were taking the table next- she came up with a plan.

Too bad she was already a few drinks deep- maybe then she would have realized her plan was destructive.

She went to the bar and ordered a Jack and Coke. "Make it a double." She added and saw Ali turn to her out of the corner of her eye. Exactly what she wanted.

She put the drink on her tab and smoothly walked over to the pool table.

"Ash!" Kelley waved her over and Tobin high-fived her.

It all seemed harmless to Ali and she looked away- not realizing until that now she was staring.

But when she looked back over she saw the girl. Ashlyn was already talking to her. Making her laugh. The girl leaned closer when she spoke to Ashlyn. Presumably so her voice could be heard over the music but in Ali's mind it was for other reasons.

It went on for a while. They got another round of drinks together. The girl was getting a little touchy with Ashlyn and Ash made sure to play into it.

She actually had nothing in common with this girl. Any other night she would have lost interest already. But she had a plan- to make Ali jealous. To make Ali come back to her. And it just **had** to work...

...

It didn't.

It only made Ali more mad at Ashlyn. She left early when she couldn't stand to watch anymore. She knew exactly what Ashlyn was doing.

And Ashlyn was so caught up in her plan she didn't notice Ali storm out, purposely through the exit closest to Ashlyn. And maybe if she had noticed the rest of the night would have gone differently. 

But Ali took a cab back alone. The whole walk down the street she wait to hear Ashlyn call after her. To come running up behind her.

If only Ashlyn saw her leave- it would have been different.

...

Ashlyn was playing into it so hard she lost track of Ali.

She walked outside with the girl to get some fresh air and they ended up in the girl's car.

Backseat. Windows closed and fogged up. Ashlyn's hand sliding under the hem of the girl's pants. She arched her back- calling out Ashlyn's name.

Ashlyn didn't even know _her_ name.

And she felt guilty but not for not knowing her name. For doing this. She never felt guilty for this. Ever.

And all she could think about right now was Ali. Another girl on top of her and Ali was still the only thing on her mind.

She finished her quick and hoped the girl didn't notice.

She didn't. She clung on for dear life and told Ashlyn how good it was.

Ashlyn didn't care. Girls tell her that often. She never took it seriously... except when Ali told her.

And when Ali told her she only wanted to continue to prove Ali right. To make it better everytime. To keep Ali holding onto her, calling her name, trembling in her arms.

Ashlyn stared blankly into the darkness. Glad the girl couldn't see her expression. _Fuck. Why did I do this?_

She realized it then. It was always so much more than "friends with benefits" with Ali.

...

The girl asked if Ashlyn wanted to stay at her place tonight. Ashlyn made up some lie about having to leave. The girl offered to drive her but Ashlyn declined.

She checked her phone and had missed calls from Kelley and Tobin. A few texts too.

"Have fun. See you back at the hotel." The last text read- an hour ago. She felt even worse when she realized people knew. She hoped Ali wouldn't find out tomorrow.

...

She took a cab home. She was pretty drunk. She called Ali on the way. No answer. It was 2:00 am.

Against her better judgement- she went to Ali's room. She didn't want to wake her roommate so she called her again from outside the door. No answer.

...

 **Text from Ashlyn** : Come on Alex

 **Text from Ali** : Go to sleep

That was the last straw for Ashlyn. She knocked on the door. She waited a minute. No response. She knocked again.

Ali opened the door right when she was about to knock a third time.

"Christen is sleeping! Everyone is sleeping! Are you crazy?" Ali whisper-yelled.

Her eyes were red and puffy. She turned away when Ashlyn noticed- she had been crying.

"Oh Alex..." Ashlyn felt horrible and leaned to pull her into a kiss but Ali resisted with a hand on her chest.

"You actually **are** crazy." She said- astonished Ashlyn would even try that right now. But when she saw Ashlyn wobble a little she knew what it really was. "...Or you're drunk." She said obviously. "Great."

She pulled the lock so the door couldn't fully close and stood in front of it.

"What do you want?" She asked coldly.

"To talk to you." Ashlyn mumbled, looking down at the ground. The rejection of the kiss tore right through her.

"I didn't want to talk to you before and I **certainly** don't want to talk to you right now!" Ali put her foot down. Her teeth were clenched.

"Al, come on." She reached for Ali's hip to pull her in but Ali pushed her hand away. It was a boundary they could push since technically- they were best friends.

"Go. To. Bed." Ali warned.

"Not until you talk to me..." Ashlyn crossed her arms. She was being childish and Ali was beyond annoyed with her. And angry. Really angry- especially now that she had time to dwell on it. 

"You want to talk? Fine! Let's talk! Let's talk about your venture for tonight..." Ali gave her a look Ashlyn had seen before. A look she never wanted to see from Ali.

"W- ...what?" Ashlyn asked in disbelief. _How could she know?_

Ali had a vindictive expression on her face. "Still want to talk?" She pressed the matter. She was getting angry now.

Ashlyn didn't answer- she only looked down to her feet. She did not want to talk anymore.

But Ali pressed on. "You think I didn't know what you were doing when you were talking to that girl?"

Ashlyn slowly took a step backward- only realizing now that this was a bad idea. Her plan was to walk away but before she could turn to do so...

"Did you fuck her?" Ali bluntly asked, her voice clouded with accusation. She didn't want to know the answer to that. And technically it wasn't any of her business either way. But she asked anyway.

Ashlyn did not want to answer that question. She scuffed at the carpet with her shoe, still refusing to look up. _I never should have come here._

She wished she could lie but she could never lie to Ali. She never wanted to until now. But she just couldn't.

Ali broke the silence after a moment. "Did you?" She asked pointedly.

Ashlyn hung her head even lower in defeat. "...Yea." She mumbled.

Ali froze for a second but then stepped forward and tipped Ashlyn's chin up to look her in the eye.

 _Maybe jealously worked?_ Ashlyn thought.

But Ali's eyes grew cold with hurt.

"Grow up, Ashlyn." She said, staring her straight in the eye. She let go and stepped back, closing the door between them.

Ashlyn stood in the hallway for a while. Just staring at the door. She contemplated knocking on it again but she knew Ali wouldn't answer.

She wouldn't know what to say anyway.

_I just ruined everything._

...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one took a while to update. I wasn't into it. And then, when I started back up again- I couldn't stop :)
> 
> Tell me how I'm doing...

Ali curled up in bed and cried to herself. Holding back whimpers to avoid waking her roommate. She was reeling with heartache.

...

Ashlyn walked to her room and sat outside the door.

_What's my problem? What am I doing? Why am I pushing her away?_

"Grow up, Ashlyn." Repeating itself over and over in her head.

...

Ashlyn didn't feel so ot when she woke the next morning. She wasn't sure if the nausea was from drinking or anxiety and guilt. She was pretty sure one was pushing the other to happen.

"I'm never drinking again." She muttered when Tobin, Alex and Kelley came into the room from breakfast.

"Awww wittle baby can't handle her alcohol." Tobin teased and sat on the edge of Ashlyn's bed.

 _If only you knew._ Ashlyn kicked herself and burrowed further under the covers.

Alex and Kelley crawled under with her. One on each side. Hugging her tight.

"I'll heal you." Alex joked and tickled her a bit.

Kelley helped by restraining her but eventually Ashlyn was able to ward them both off. They settled for cuddling into her and snuggling close. Alex could sense something was wrong but she decided to wait to talk to her in privacy.

"Smile!" Tobin stood above them to take a picture of this snuggle pile before joining it herself.

...

"Ughhh!" Ali huffed and threw her phone on the bed when she later saw the picture on Instagram.

"What?" Christen asked, startled by Ali's reaction.

"Nothing." She growled out and locked herself in the bathroom.

...

"Your best friend is being weird again." Press mentioned quietly at the table during lunch.

"Yea?" Ashlyn asked. Thankful Christen didn't know the reason why.

"Yea. I don't know what's up with her lately but... its something." She said, hoping Ashlyn would be able to help Ali out.

"I'll see if I can talk to her later." Ashlyn offered and they left it at that.

She was glad Press could be her secret "in" with Ali.

...

"Hey." Ashlyn jogged up behind Ali after lunch.

Ali didn't turn around and Ashlyn grabbed her elbow to stop her. It was gentle but Ali didn't appreciate it. She pulled away quickly.

"Ashlyn, don't." She warned as she sternly pointed at her and then turned to continue walking away.

"Christen said you're upset." Ashlyn pressed. "We should talk about this."

 _Great._ Ali thought. _Christen is filling her in._

"There is **nothing** to talk about." Ali grit out.

"Alex." Ashlyn was offended by Ali's lack of care in this matter. "Talk to me. We're still best friends. Come on."

She reached for Ali's hand.

"Stop!" Ali smacked her hand away. She was upset and she did not like being pressured right now.

Ashlyn froze. She felt like a kid being punished. Ali took a step closer and got in her face with gritted teeth.

"We. are. done." Ali continued quietly. "You do not have the right to touch me anymore. Do you understand?"

Ashlyn just stared at her with hurt in her eyes. Unsure how they got to this point. Unsure why Ali was so mad. If Ali didn't mean it when she said she was in love with Ashlyn- then what was the problem?

Ashlyn couldn't form a sentence. She was totally side-swiped by Ali's response.

And Ali didn't give her a chance to react. She left Ashlyn standing there and made her way back to her room.

...

Ashlyn couldn't be around anyone right now. She had to leave ASAP. She walked out of the hotel and found a quiet spot on the grounds under some trees.

She sat against the trunk of a tree and stared straight ahead. She felt nothing. She was still processing. She cared about nothing right now. It was a scary place for her mind to be.

And then something she never felt started to take over her body. She would rather feel nothing than what she was feeling right now.

It hurt, it physically hurt. And she felt like it was never going to go away. Her chest was tight and it was hard to breathe. Her mind was clouded with sadness. She had an inescapble feeling of loss- like someone had just died.

She felt like she was trapped in her own body and her heart was aching.

"Ali... Ali..." She repeated again and again until the words were inaudible as she began to cry.

It felt like... her heart was breaking.

...

Alex intercepted her when she got back to the lobby. She looked like she had been waiting a while.

"Hey you." Alex stood in front of her. "Want to go get some ice cream?"

Alex knew Ashlyn never turned down dessert. Especially ice cream. So when Ashlyn politely declined- she knew something was definitely wrong. Alex wouldn't let her pass.

"I know when you're upset- you shut people out. But I'm not going to let you do that." Alex stood her ground.

"What?" Ashlyn feigned innocence and forced a chuckle. "I'm not upset."

She continued to walk toward the elevator. Just a few more steps until she was free.

"You've been crying." Alex pointed out and Ashlyn paused. "And you can't deny that because I can see it."

Alex pressed the matter. She wasn't going to let her friend shut her out and suffer in silence.

"I love you, Ash. Come on." Alex softened up. "Just take a walk with me. We can talk about it or not but please just come with me."

Ashlyn stood rigid for a moment. Alex wasn't sure which way this was going to go but she was thankful when Ashlyn turned to face her and nodded toward the lobby doors.

...

They got ice cream and sat on a bench outside to eat it. Ashlyn hardly even touched hers. She felt too sick to eat.

Alex cleared her throat to say something about the weather but Ashlyn cut in before she had a chance to speak.

"I don't know what I'm feeling. I never felt this before and... I don't know maybe I like her. Like- like her, like her. But ughhh! I don't know!" She blurted without warning.

"Okay, okay. Slow down." Alex soothed. "Like who, Ash?"

Ashlyn waited a moment before responding. Deciding whether or not she was ready to tell anyone their secret.

"...Ali." She said finally. She had to get this off her chest.

"Ali..." Alex waited for a last name. "Ali who?"

Ashlyn just looked at her, not knowing why she didn't get it.

"Krieger." She said slowly and Alex snapped into it.

"What?!" She exclaimed. She was not expecting that. "As in your best friend, Ali?" She yelled without meaning to.

Ashlyn glared at her and then looked down quickly. Alex just managed to make her feel worse.

"I'm sorry. Sorry!" Alex back-pedaled. "I'm just surprised.. That's all."

"Yea. Me too." Ashlyn moved to get up but Alex pulled her back down.

"Ash, I'm sorry." She pleaded for her to go on. "Tell me more."

Ashlyn sighed and told Alex the whole story. From start to finish. She told her of Ali's confession and how she later took it back. And she told her she couldn't tell anyone.

"I think you need to talk to her." Alex suggested.

She could tell from the details that Ali meant it when she said she loved Ashlyn. She actually wondered how she didn't notice sooner. It was fairly obvious in retrospect.

"Did you listen to the end of the story at all? She doesn't want anything to do with me." Ashlyn whined.

"Did you listen to the rest of your story?" Alex countered.

She was about to lay down the law...

"She's in love with you, Ash. She got scared when she confessed because you didn't react. She said she didn't mean it because she was worried she'd ruin your friendship. And when you accepted the fact she didn't mean it, that only made her think you didn't want it to be true." She let out in one breath.

Ashlyn thought about it for a second before Alex decided to go on.

"You ignored her all night when we went out. You hooked up with another girl and then went to her room after. How do you think that makes her feel?" She didn't wait for Ashlyn to reply. "Used. It makes her feel used."

This was all hitting Ashlyn like a brick wall. She never wanted to hurt Ali. She didn't even notice she was doing it. And she knew she probably deserved to be reprimanded right now but she was already feeling horrible. This was just making it worse.

Alex paused and composed herself. She really was trying to help but she had to lay into Ashlyn a little to wake her up. She calmed herself down now.

"Ash... you need to talk to her. She loves you. And I'm pretty sure what you're feeling- that 'inescapable, magnetic pull toward Ali'- is love too." She patted Ashlyn on the shoulder and extended her hand to pull her up.

...

They walked back to the hotel mostly in silence. But it wasn't weird. And it hardly seemed silent to Ashlyn- it was filled with thoughts.

...

In the elevator, Alex hugged her tight.

"I love you, Ash. And I love her too. I know you always had a special place in your heart for Ali. Maybe its time you explore what that could mean." She said when the doors opened and left Ashlyn behind with that as her final piece of advice.

...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. It's a long one. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

Ali ignored all of Ashlyn's calls that day and the next. She felt bad about what she said and she certainly did not want their friendship to be "over"... but she couldn't help to be stubborn right now.

She skipped out at the end of practice and made sure not to run into her in the halls at any cost. She wanted nothing to do with her right now.

Or at least that's what she told herself...

She couldn't help but miss her. Ashlyn was her best friend before any of this. And seeing as they didn't get to see each other too often- wasting days apart at camp was affecting her even more.

She even found herself talking to Christen about how she was feeling- making sure to leave out the fact it was Ash who was behind it all.

She may or may not have been confiding in Christen on purpose- knowing Christen will go to Ashlyn for help- and ultimately she would be helping Ali without even knowing it.

...

"Ash-lynnn." Press bumped shoulders with her again at breakfast the next day. The last full day of camp.

Ash's plans for tomorrow were catching a ride with Tobin, Alex and Kelley to stay at their apartment for a few days before heading home. She wanted to make the most of her time on the West Coast before going back to Florida.

She knew Ali's plans were to stay in the Los Angeles area and hang with Kyle before she headed back to DC. They'd be apart for a few months again and Ashlyn knew she had to talk to Ali before tomorrow came.

"What's good, Press?" Ashlyn put on a smile and pretended she wasn't hating the world.

"Uh so... I know I came to you a few times about Ali things. Last time, I promise." She put her hand over her heart.

"Okay." Ashlyn wasn't in the helping mood right now. Especially with Ali.

"She's heartbroken- she's so upset and I feel really bad because I can't help. She said the only person who can is the one who hurt her." Christen started.

"Did she say who it was?" Ashlyn played dumb but was also curious is Christen was testing her or not.

"No, that's the problem." Christen continued. "She didn't tell me who it is. I thought maybe as her best friend- maybe you could shed some light?" 

"Oh man, that sucks." Ashlyn commented. "No, I have no idea who it is." She lied.

Christen shrugged. "Whoever it is must be an idiot. Girls like Ali don't come around often. And they certainly don't give second chances. Hope whoever it is figures it out before its too late."

She patted Ashlyn on the back and headed to a table.

Ashlyn just stood there. Absorbing it all. She knew she had to find Ali. Now.

She put her half-filled plate down on the buffet and ran out of the room.

"Where is she going?" Alex asked, mostly to herself.

"To tell Ali she loves her." Christen responded so only Alex could hear.

"Wait... you know too?" Alex furrowed her brow. Ashlyn said Alex was the only person, besides Ali, who knew.

"They don't know that I know but... isn't it obvious?" She said with a sly smile. Christen was playing both of them all along.

...

Ashlyn ran up to Ali and Christen's room and was about to knock on the door when she saw a note taped to it.

"Press- Be back before lunch. Needed to clear my head. -Ali."

The note wasn't really intended for Press. It was a carefully planned hint, dropped by Ali.

Ashlyn quickly ran down the hall and to the stairs. She knew where Ali always went to "clear her head". She had to get to the field ASAP.

...

It was faster to run the mile or so to the field than it would be to wait for a cab and sit in traffic. A mile felt like ten and Ashlyn felt like she could never make it to Ali fast enough.

...

She stopped at the top of the hill and scouered the complex for Ali. She grew nervous but then she spotted her on the third field- laying on her back, staring into the sky.

She ran right to her. She had basically sprinted the whole way. And now that she had found Ali- she could stop. She collapsed right next to her and laid there fighting to catch her breath.

It startled Ali. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear Ashlyn run up.

"Ash? Ash, are you okay?!" Ali rushed to her side, not knowing Ashlyn had just sprinted a mile to find her and was thinking something was wrong.

Ashlyn was face down in the grass. Her chest heaving up and down as she recovered. She put up her index finger to let Ali know she just needed a minute.

Ashlyn eventually caught her breath enough to roll over on her back. She laid there and stared at the sky and tried to take deep breaths. Not only to recover, but to prepare for this conversation with her best friend.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ali was still slightly concerned. She had forgotten she was mad at Ashlyn.

"Yea..." Ashlyn said between breaths. "Sprinted here." She said between some more. "Need a sec."

"Sprinted from where?" Ali asked.

"Hotel." Was all Ashlyn could manage.

"You ran here from the hotel?! Are you crazy?!" Ali exclaimed.

"I think so." Ashlyn entertained and sat up.

They sat in silence while Ashlyn's breathing evened out.

"I got your note." She eventually looked to Ali. "And your _message_."

Ali thought it would work but it was also nice to know Ashlyn had it all figured out. She knew Ali so well. The only thing she didn't know was... what was going to happen next.

"Did you mean it?" Ashlyn asked when she could breathe again.

"The message?" Ali asked, confused.

"No, what you said the other night..." Ashlyn pushed. She wasn't going to let it go so easily this time.

Ali furrowed her brow and pretended she didn't know what she was talking about. But the reality was- she knew- she was just scared what the answer would bring.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes. She knew why Ali was playing dumb. So she pushed it some more.

"When you said you were in love with me..." Ashlyn reminded and made a face, as if to ask if it was ringing any bells.

Ali looked down, nervously. Almost embarrassed. She didn't plan this part out. 

"Did you mean it? Because it felt like you meant it and then you said forget it so-"

"I don't know!" Ali interrupted. "Maybe I did."

That was a lot easier than Ashlyn expected. 

Ali refused to look at Ashlyn's reaction for a while. But when there was pure, unavoidable silence she eventually looked up.

Ashlyn had a straight face but she was trying hard not to grin.

"Maybe?" She asked. Implying she was skeptical.

And Ali tried hard to fight a smile. This was ridiculous. The whole thing. Why didn't they just talk about it from the beginning?

The edges of Ali's mouth kept twitching. A sure sign she was battling a smirk.

Ashlyn knew that look so well. She reached for Ali's hand and held it in her own. Noting the fact Ali welcomed her touch once again.

"Alex, I need to know. Yes... or no?"

"What does it matter?" Ali looked down. "It doesn't change anything." She mumbled.

"It changes _everything._ " Ashlyn corrected her calmly.

"That doesn't make me feel any better." Ali mumbled, not wanting to further ruin thier friendship.

"Let me put it this way." Ashlyn was going to go for it...

She tipped Ali's chin so she could look in her eyes but Ali kept hers pointed down.

"If you say no, you didn't mean it- then okay. We move on. We go back to being best friends... And I'll live the rest of my life knowing I'm in love with my best friend."

That got Ali's attention. She finally looked up. Her eyes were glistening. Did Ashlyn just imply what she thinks she just implied?

"Or..." Ashlyn continued and slowly moved closer to Ali. "If you say yes... I'm going to kiss you."

She put it very matter-of-fact. 

There was a silent pause- interrupted only by their breathing back and forth and the beating of their hearts.

Ashlyn leaned in, slowly. She was going to test it if she didn't get an answer.

"Last chance." She whispered, an inch from Ali's lips.

"I meant it." Ali whispered back, hardly a second before Ashlyn captured her lips with her own.

...

Ashlyn pulled back when they needed air.

"Ahemmm." She pretended to look around while scratching the back of her neck with a smile.

Ali wasted no time to engulf her in a hug. They held it for a while.

"We don't have to do this." Ali mumbled into her best friend.

"Yea..." Ashlyn nodded. "We do."

She pulled back and looked Ali in the eyes.

"Your line about 'girls like you not giving second chances' was pretty clear." Ashlyn chuckled.

Ali just looked at her weird.

"I didn't say that...?" She slowly shook her head side-to-side.

"But Press..." Ashlyn trailed off, confused as to why Christen would say that if Ali hadn't.

They looked at each and thought about it. Then both realized what it was at the same time. Ashlyn chuckled and Ali eventually joined in.

They would have to thank her for this one day. Hopefully.

...

They walked back to the hotel at a slow pace. Taking the time to talk to each other and be close.

"Does this mean we should start going on dates?" Ashlyn asked. Not really sure how to transition from friends with benefits to somehing much more.

"We don't have to... but we could." She said. She knew Ashlyn wasn't much for dates in the past.

"I think we should." Ashlyn added, surprisingly. 

"O-okay." Ali nodded. She certainly wasn't going to argue.

"And... I'll come visit you in DC." Ashlyn continued.

Ali found this side of Ashlyn so endearing. She had never seen it before.

"And you can come visit me wheneverrrrr you want." She smiled and grabbed Ali's hand to hold in her own.

Ali could get used to this. Ashlyn thought the same.

Neither of them wanted tomorrow to come.

...

But it did...

"So... where are you staying in LA?" Ashlyn asked when she got to Ali's room the next morning.

She grabbed Ali's bag from her and insisted she carry it down.

Ali paused and looked at her with a smile until Ashlyn nodded for her to get moving. They didn't want to miss check out.

"Well Kyle is working most of the time, so I'm staying in a little hotel by the beach so I don't intrude on his roommate all week." Ali explained as they started down the hall.

"True. True." Ashlyn nodded.

"Are you still going up North with Kelley and them?" Ali asked as they stepped into the elevator.

"I am." Ashlyn responded, wishing they had a few more days together before she had to do so.

It still felt too new to leave it so open-ended.

"Nice." Ali said, but she was a little sad their time was coming to an end in a few minutes. She knew she would visit as soon as she could.

...

"So..." Ashlyn stood by Ali as she waited for Kyle to pick her up.

"So..." Ali smiled shyly.

"I guess this is goodbye, for now." Ashlyn gave her a sad smile.

"I wish it wasn't." Ali replied in the same tone as Ashlyn hugged her.

"Me too." She pulled back after a moment.

"I'll see you in DC?" Ali asked. Her voice shook a little and Ashlyn could see she was fighting tears.

Goodbye had never been easy with the two of them. No matter how long they would be apart. They were always emotionally attached.

Ashlyn felt a tugging in her chest. Like something was pulling at her heart. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.

She took a deep breath.

"No." She said and Ali's eyes darted to her.

Ashlyn quickly turned and ran to the car Kelley rented to drive her, Alex, Tobin, and Ash to San Francisco.

Ali stood there- feeling lost.

Until Ashlyn grabbed her stuff from the trunk and hugged Kelley. Then Tobin. And finally, Alex. She hugged Alex longer than the other two- like she was telling her something.

Alex nodded and gave her one more quick hug with a smile before Ashlyn jogged back to her best friend.

She dropped her bag next to Ali's and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm not willing to say goodbye yet." She whispered and held her close.

Ali wiped the tears threatening to spill from her own eyes and wrapped both arms around Ashlyn.

"I mean... I _guess_ that's okay." She teased and hugged her tight. Really, she wouldn't have it any other way.

...

"She's not coming?" Kelley asked when Ashlyn walked away.

"Change of plans. She'll meet us in a couple days." Alex said and got in the backseat with a proud smile.

"Why?" Kelley pried.

"Because she loves Ali." Tobin added and Kelley nodded in acceptance, like she already knew but wasn't 100% sure until now.

"You knew?" Alex asked and smacked Tobin's arm.

Tobin and Kelley shared a glance before Tobin spoke.

"Yea... isn't it obvious?" She replied, like it was the most apparent thing in the world.

...


End file.
